"I was only trying to be nice babe...."

As you may be able to tell, the heading for this post came from something my fiance said to me today as he came home from work. He walked in looking all cute and bedraggled from working on a construction site all day and I was really happy to see him when he said 

"Are you having a bad or a good day today, honey?" 

Aww, I thought, he's asking about my well-being and being all genuinely concerned so I replied:

"Um...I'm not sure really, I only just got up a couple of hours ago and...."

"Well, what I meant was, are you being a good girl on your diet or are you having a naughty day?" he interrupted.

"Oh, I'm just plodding along trying to starve this arse off of me as usual I guess...." I said

"Hmm.....so you won't want what I've got for you in this bag then?" he replied, raising one eyebrow in mock confusion.

"Well, that all depends on what you've got for me...." I countered. 

At which point he proceeded to pull two Plain Quarter-Pounders With Cheese (No garnish or goop) from McDonalds, out of his rucksack and wafted them in front of my nose.

Grrr.....Goddamnit you gorgeous specimen of a man! How dare you test my will with my most favouritest fast food indulgence of all time! How am I supposed to turn those down??

"You are pure evil, you know that?" I smirked at him. 

"I was only trying to be nice babe!" he replied with this cute, mischievous lop-sided smile.

BASTARD!!!!

Ha ha ha.... I mean that in the nicest way possible of course. He's a total sweetheart and because his route home just happened to pass by those impossibly tempting golden arches, he thought he'd pick up my favourite meal for me to have as a 'naughty day' treat. How could I refuse such a lovely gesture? Not to mention the hot wafting aroma of meat and cheese causing me to salivate like a dog. So, without further ado, I thanked him for being evil and happily munched my way through the two burgers until I felt ready to burst. Did I really used to work my way through two of these things, a portion of fries and a McFlurry without feeling full? That used to be my order before I started to seriously cut back on the calories. Today, just the two burgers were a struggle to finish, so I can only assume that my stomach has been learning to accept less and perhaps also may have shrunk a little too.

When I'd finished I wanted to just get right up and go purge the whole goddamn lot out of me before it had a chance to register on my metabolism; but two things prevented me from doing so. First of all, I'd just taken my daily cocktail of meds prior to himself presenting me with said burger-tastic booty and I couldn't be sure what had been absorbed and what was still in my stomach. If I threw up I wouldn't know if I had to retake the meds again (risking a double dose) or not take any more (risking a missed dose in my treatment, which isn't a good idea). Meh! Easier to just leave the junk heading for my trunk and chalk it up to a 'naughty day'. To be honest I also didn't want to just go and chuck up the food my lovely other half had brought home for me, as a treat to be nice. It seemed wrong and disrespectful (even though he wouldn't have known about it) to not keep it down. Does that make sense? Probably not.

So yeah, today I ate two bloody Plain Quarter-Pounders with cheese for my dinner, but in all honesty, they were worth every calorie and every gram of fat they sent right to my thighs! I guess I should do a recap now of today's calorie intake so I can weep into my keyboard like the monstrous heifer I am!

Breakfast - 151 Calories

2 x 39g sachets of golden syrup porridge oats - 100 calories

Cup of coffee with skimmed milk and one sugar - 51 calories

Dinner - 980 Calories

2 x McDonalds Plain Quarter Pounders With Cheese - 980 calories

Total amount consumed - 1131

Urgh.....1131 calories. I'm such a fat bitch. Oh well, at least I didn't go overboard and eat any other cakes or crap too. I even decided to forgo my daily bar of chocolate (the ethos upon which this entire diet is based!) just to try a bit of damage limitation. I guess when you look at the overall total, it could have been a lot worse. I've drunk 4 litres of water too throughout the day to keep my stomach full - and smoked like a fucking chimney too, to help stave off the hunger pangs which came back with a vengeance a few hours after I'd digested the McDonalds (fast food is a fucker for that!), but I wouldn't recommend smoking as a healthy way to deal with weight loss!! Ha ha. 

I forgot to take my vitamins and supplements, which I should really do now, but it's like 5.15am now and I need to be getting my ass to bed or thinking about getting breakfast ready for the other half who is due to get up in about an hour. Either way, I need to be getting this post published pronto, because I am dying to go pee! Yeah, I know TMI, but if I can talk about sticking two fingers down my throat on here, I'm pretty sure the occasional talk of using the toilet for it's intended purposes has got to be allowed, right?

Until next time y'all

x