Redeemed!

You remember that extra pound I said I'd regained in my last post, after the pig-out on the previous 'cheat day'? Well, I woke up today to find that I'd successfully managed to starve it off again after a minimal calorie intake yesterday. Woohoo! That was a pretty good thing to wake up to. I wasn't sure if I'd have made enough of an impact with my restriction to get rid of it right away, but when I stepped on the scales this morning and saw the numbers had gone down I was incredibly happy. Hunger hurts, but starving works. It might be a cliche but it's a cliche for a reason: it's just so fucking true.

Today I decided to eat a little more, but limited myself to 500 calories for the day. I'm not sure how much of an effect this will have on my weight loss as I think my metabolism is already fucked up from daily restricting and it might make even this small number of calories add a little weight back on, but I'm hoping if nothing else, that it will have allowed me to maintain the same weight I read on the scale this morning. Ha, I'm saying 'this morning' because I got up so late yesterday/Monday (2.30pm) that I'm still up now and it's gone 4.30am on Tuesday. I weighed myself when I got up yesterday, but I'm not planning on going to bed anytime soon. I'm not remotely tired and I'm happily making my way through all the great Pro Ana/Mia/BED/EDNOS blogs there are out there. I've discovered some really interesting, well written ones by some incredibly honest ladies who my heart goes out to. There's a lot of pain in those pages out there, but within that pain there is also strength and beauty; there is a lot to be admired.

I've listed some of my favourites in the sidebar blog list on the right hand side, but today's big shout out goes to http://xthexstarvingxartistx.blogspot.com who I just discovered today and have been enjoying (is 'enjoying' the right word to use when talking about these subjects? Sorry if it sounds crass or lacking in understanding; perhaps I should use the word 'appreciate' instead?) going back through the archives to read from past to present, her year long battle/journey with Ana and weight loss. It's one of the much more articulately written blogs I've come across and the fact that it's by a fellow Brit is just one more bonus point to add! I highly recommend that any and all go visit her blog, read her journey and drop her a bit of support in the comments field too, because I'm sure she'd appreciate it. 

I just love how supportive the Pro Ana community is among these blogs. Reading the words of another anonymous individual, whose thoughts and sentiments echo your own completely, is incredibly inspiring. Got me to stare down a 110 calorie skinny Dairy Milk bar for daring to suggest that I eat it, earlier on in these wee small hours! (No, really, I was totally debating whether or not I would risk going over the 500 calorie limit by succumbing to it's delicious chocolaty goodness - but reading through the her 'Dying To Be Thin' blog, really helped me to 'just say no!') I feel like such an amateur in comparison to some of these incredible girls (and guys) who have been blogging about their own weight loss journeys for so long, but that just inspires me to carry on in my cause and do better with my own. I have a long way to go and it would be great to hear from anyone who might have stumbled across my own wee slice of the internet, so please feel free to stop by and say hello in the comments section.

I'm going to work my way through a few more of these blogs tonight, finding the ones which are currently active and being updated, before adding them to my blog roll. I'm also just not sure I like the layout of my own one. It seems very garish and kind of 'in your face' which is not the vibe I was trying to go for. It took me ages to get it this way, but I'm not sure I like the red on black. I think I'd prefer pink and black or blue and black. Hmm...I'll have to think about it. I also need to work on getting my losses written up in the 'Stats' page, details on how I'm actually eating on the 'The Diet' page and list a few more resources on the 'Books' and 'Links' pages too. I want this to be a fairly comprehensive blog with lots of info, lots of pointers in the right direction to to others wanting to follow a similar lifestyle, along with lots of my own real experience along this path and a few glimpses into the rest of my fairly uninteresting life too, for those who want to know a bit about the real Thinderella.

So I think I'll leave this post for now and go spend a bit more time perusing the xstarvingartistx blog again for a bit.

Sleep well my fellow journeymen/women

x