Gwen Stefani - Could she be any more beautiful?

 'Cool' - Gwen Stefani

I absolutely love this song and the video is just the ultimate thinspo, because Gwen looks just so utterly immaculate in it (when doesn't she?) but, I can't help but feel like a great, big, steaming pile of horseshit in comparison! There's also something about the video story that makes me cry though because it's about a relationship that didn't work out and then having to meet up with an ex and his new girlfriend, to hang out and be 'Cool' with each other. And for some reason it just makes me dread the thought of ever having to split up with my fiance and then see him out and about with anyone else. It would absolutely kill me. 

You know how you can be in a relationship and love someone and yet it's not the earth-shattering match you always wished a relationship would be, but then one day someone comes along and absolutely sweeps you off your feet, making you feel all the things you always wished a relationship would bring you? Well that's how I felt when I met my fiance. I knew he was the one for me, the day I met him. We became great friends instantly, started seeing each other properly after a month and then I moved him in a month later after we dropped the L-Bomb on one another and realised we both felt the same way. That was five years ago and we've been together ever since. We got engaged this year on my birthday and I can honestly say that it was the happiest moment of my life.

We haven't told anyone about it - apart from a couple of online friends who aren't connected to any of our friends and family at home - because I hate weddings and just want to run away to Gretna Green and have it done quickly, quietly and privately, without the glare of a billion fucking people watching an incredibly private and personal declaration of love, devotion and intent. I also refuse point blank to spend a fucking fortune on a shitty mass produced meal in some swanky fucking venue, followed by a crappy fucking disco playing none of the kind of music he or I like, just to get a load of Marks & Spencers vouchers and a day spent dressed up like a fucking meringue. No, I want a nice simple elopement followed by a weeks holiday/honeymoon on a canal boat, cruising down the waterways, stopping in at little pubs and restaurants, sleeping on the roof under the stars and just escaping the rest of the world. I have no desire to go on holiday to any hot resort, I just want a nice quiet wedding and a nice quiet break with my new husband, to celebrate us beginning the journey of our lives. 

I can't wait. I just need to make sure that I'm a helluva lot slimmer and prettier for him before it happens. I know there isn't a hope in hell that I'll ever look anywhere near as pretty and put together as Gwen the Goddess of Glamour and utter Gorgeousness, but I will forever look to her as ultimate thinspo, whenever I feel the urge to go off the rails and thwart my progress. 

As long as I never end up in the position she plays in that video, having to split with my man and then meet him with a future partner, then I can live happy ever after.

Well, as happy as one can be when plagued with perpetual self hatred.

Here's to trying to make oneself into the perfect wife-to-be....

xx