....you give your boyfriend a blow-job and instantly start wondering what kind of impact the calorie count of semen will have on your weight loss.
I weighed myself earlier and I'm another six pounds down since the last time I weighed in (that is of course if my fucked up scales on my fucked up slanty apartment floor can be trusted). If I've gained when I come to weigh myself tomorrow, I think I'm going to have to start opting for the spit-not-swallow technique, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I know, TMI, totally gross, but hey we all do it. At my age there ain't no point trying to play the Virgin Fucking Mary card anymore.
I've been round the block so many times I'm probably due a free fucking bus pass.
That made me sound like such a slut.
I'm really not.
Just er...mature...and....er...experienced.
I'll shut up now!
Ha ha
x
Hey, I've just started following your blog. I've read through your posts and really enjoyed them. I'm looking forward to reading more about you :)
ReplyDeleteAhaha, I've had that thought before. I've researched it before, just for my own sanity. I just did some googling, check out this link: http://mobile.goaskalice.columbia.edu/nutritional-value-serving-semen?nocache=1
5-7 cals a teaspoon! Lol. I don't think it'll make a huge difference. You probably burn more than that while doing the deed :P
And congrats on the 6lbs! If you've got a slanty floor, you could line the scales up with a tile/certain marker on the floor. As long as they're in the same spot each time, it'll be consistent. Another tip would be to weigh something, like a dumbbell, before you weigh, and that'd give you a consistent reading to compare to (if that makes sense).
Anyway, lovely to meet you. Have a wonderful week <3 xx
Hi Bella, thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to read my blog. I came across yours recently and it's one of a few I'm going through from the start to the present day, getting to know your own story and issues with eating etc. I think it's hilarious that you were actually able to give me a proper calorie count for spooge - so funny. I just couldn't believe that it entered my head as soon as I'd done it. How fucked up is that? Ha ha. Anyway is nice to meet you and I look forward to reading more about you in the near future. Take care xx
ReplyDeleteHe he, I love your honesty
ReplyDeleteYou're a girl after my own heart
This isn't my first rodeo either
I don't have the patience to sugar coat things anymore
I've been around the block too many times too
I literally have a free bus pass
I would say well done on the weight loss but I just hope that you're not underweight and are doing it the healthy way (Is there even a healthy way?)
Much love x
semen? i don't think much to be honest :P i heard 17 calories. like egg whites. (pure protein, eh?)
ReplyDeleteyou are a gem. spit-not-swallow technique. im laughing im sorry
i don't do it but then again i don't pitch for that team if you know what i mean ;D
mature and experienced. my kinda gal.
xx
-Sam Lupin
Oh, honey, I feel ya. I had a booty call the other day and I thought it'd be just a regular workout and after he left I panicked that I had undone all my good girl-on-top work by swallowing during round two. It's a ridiculous thing to panic about but it's totally valid.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments guys, they really are appreciated!
ReplyDeleteRuby: I am by no means underweight. Quite the opposite in fact. I tend to vacillate between different kinds of disordered eating. About 10 years ago I was getting by on energy drinks and drugs and my weight plummeted from what it was. I sort of tried to eat normally for a while, but ended up with binge eating disorder - or amnesiac bulimia as I sarcastically like to refer to it: bingeing like there's no tomorrow then forgetting to bother purging. As a result of that my weight skyrocketed to the point where I'm not even comfortable disclosing it here on an anonymous blog. The numbers revolt me so much. As for 'doing it healthily' well, I lost sight of the 'H' word so long ago, I don't even know how to eat like a normal person anymore. I'm kind of an all or nothing kinda gal. I currently consume under 500 calories a day (most of which come from teas and coffees) and smoke like a fucking chimney. I have the occasional binge-fest day where I get to eat whatever I want (which always scares me because it reminds me of just how much I was cramming down my throat every day whilst ballooning during my long-term B.E.D.) but I find it really easy to restrict almost every day, hence my ability to drop weight so easily. I've been so engrossed in your blog lately btw, I really have to drop you an email because we have a lot in common and so much of what you post rings true with me.
Sam: What can I say? I'm just a bit of a trollop at heart I guess, but if it brings a wee smile to your face, then I'm glad I can do that much at least!
Nina: It's just what happens when you start down a path of obsessive dieting/severe restriction; you end up contemplating everything that touches your lips. Give it time and you'll be worrying about the impact that chewing on the end of your pen with have on your daily intake. Disordered eating comes from/with disordered thinking and we just gotta accept that for every pound lost, we're probably also losing an ounce of our sanity. Such is life.
Much love folks
x